I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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