I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
