my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
