I wish I could punch you in the face.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and i looked up. we had an audience...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
