hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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