Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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