You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
