Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize