so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
