I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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