Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
