Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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