No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
