dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
