Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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