He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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