The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
