Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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