I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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