we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
