you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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