4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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