Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
