i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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