More tranny stories later!
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
