Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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