Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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