Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
When are your genitals available?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
