I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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