Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
