btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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