so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
