He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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