we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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