Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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