If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
