she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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