I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
