idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
