Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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