Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
