so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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