# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
