Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
