you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
