so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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