I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
