I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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