woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you didnt know i had herpes?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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