I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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