He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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