Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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