ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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