She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Hippo gnu deer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.