I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!