One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.