hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.