You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
