I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
this hospital has no fireball
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize