Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
