Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
