i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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