I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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