you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize