Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?