You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.