Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(323): View more from California

Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.

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(360): View more from Washington

He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(409): View more from Texas

Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.

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(716): View more from New York

... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace

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(845): View more from New York

Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence

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(650): View more from California

Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?

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