Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult