Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.

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(305): View more from Florida

I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

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(+61): View more from Australia

He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(520): View more from Arizona

The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed

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(585): View more from New York

Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together

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(210): View more from Texas

It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.

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