I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.