so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
