girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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